my Pensieve

Some thoughts

2010-07-27T00:00:00.000-07:00

It's at times like these, after a visit to my old school, that I realise how much I miss the reality, the blood, sweat and tears, the hard-earned rewards, of teaching.

Nothing beats the heart-felt sincerity of my students, in particular, the students from Loyang Secondary, whom I will always hold deep and lasting memories of.

Miss all of you!

Musings - What could I do differently?

2010-05-01T22:00:00.000-07:00

I remember what I'd read some time ago about people being asked what they would do differently should they be close to death.

Nobody would say that they wished they'd spent more time on their work, meeting deadlines and getting promoted. Rather, everybody would know that it would be more important to treasure the times we have with our loved ones, spend more time on having meaningful conversations and really listening to others, keeping the peace with loved ones.

I definitely want to be more expressive of my feelings towards my loved ones, and to show them that I truly respect and treasure them.

All I ever need to know

2010-04-07T08:13:00.000-07:00

Respect others - respect their views, lend them an ear, really try to listen to them, not just hear what they say. Be slow to speak and quick to listen. Everyone has something worthwhile to contribute and should be respected. Do not interrupt others.

Treasure others, and the time you have with them. Pay attention to them. Treasure the loved ones around you and never take them for granted.

Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others as better than themselves.

the impact of a testimony

2010-01-17T17:44:00.000-08:00

Testimony shared during service yesterday by a former convict was honest and heartfelt, and reminded me that nobody is ever completely beyond hope.

I need to remember this for myself and others.

Never give up hope. Never become disillusioned. Always press on and do your best in all things, and when you're running out of strength, ask Him to give you additional strength to finish the marathon well.

Help me to be more positive and accepting of those around me :)

(sidenote: attended 2 beautiful weddings this weekend.. congratulations, Stella and Shuling..)

first few days

2010-01-05T07:44:00.000-08:00

I still suffered from slight withdrawal symptoms on the first day, thinking about what everybody was doing in school and worrying about whether my students would be alright. I miss my colleagues and students quite a bit.

These few days have been like the slow pacing of steps at the beginning stages of a marathon. I'm slowly finding my footing, reading papers, getting inducted and reflecting a lot. I'm learning. I hope that these years here will find me richer in thought and experience so that when I'm out in schools again, I can contribute more effectively as a teacher.

I'm thankful for everything.

Pack up your troubles in an old kit bag...

2009-12-17T21:27:00.000-08:00

Hope I can tidy my table more efficiently and finish the rest of the work I need to finish in a short time so that I can enjoy the rest of the holidays that remain..

thought

2009-12-09T01:04:00.001-08:00

Love should be shown not just in words alone, but by one's actions...

Am I a professional?

2009-11-17T18:20:00.000-08:00

Some thoughts that were shared during the staff meeting yesterday:

"Don't ever do anything as though you were an amateur. Anything you do, do it as a professional to professional standards."

A professional learns every aspect of the job. An amateur skips the learning process wherever possible.
A professional carefully discovers what is needed and wanted. An amateur assumes what others need and want.
A professional looks, speaks and dresses like a professional. An amateur is sloppy in appearance and speech.
A professional keeps his or her work area clean and orderly. An amateur has a messy, confused or dirty work area.
A professional is focused and clear-headed. An amateur is confused and distracted.
A professional does not let mistakes slide by. An amateur ignores or hides mistakes.
A professional jumps into difficult assignments. An amateur tries to get out of difficult work.
A professional completes projects as soon as possible. An amateur is surrounded by unfinished work piled on top of unfinished work.
A professional remains level-headed and optimistic. An amateur gets upset and assumes the worst.
A professional handles money and accounts very carefully. An amateur is sloppy with money or accounts.
A professional faces up to other people's upsets and problems. An amateur avoids others' problems.
A professional uses higher emotional tones: Enthusiasm, cheerfulness, interest, contentment. An amateur uses lower emotional tones: anger, hostility, resentment, fear, victim.
A professional persists until the objective is achieved. An amateur gives up at the first oppportunity.
A professional produces more than expected. An amateur produces just enough to get by.
A professional produces a high-quality produce or service. An amateur produces a medium-to-low quality produce or service.
A professional has a promising future. An amateur has an uncertain future.
The first step to making yourself a professional is to decide you are a professional.

Light-hearted days at the end of the school year

2009-11-13T10:12:00.000-08:00

I came to school a few days ago & started laughing when I saw my table. I had been the victim of a prank!

Ms Allyson and both the Mr Ongs were of the opinion that my newly-tidied table was too bare and decided to arrange all my wordly possessions (what they called) neatly over every available space on the table. Gahh! It did give us a good laugh though and I thought it was a brilliant prank! At least, this was better than the prank we played on one of the Mr Ongs, where we rubber-banded every single thing on his table.

We've also been hanging out after school, eating at all sorts of places & enjoying each others' company.Here are a couple of piccies I took with Ms Allyson - the first one was taken at Starbucks (Tampines Mall) where she went crazy over the Christmas special - the Toffee Nut Latte. Although I'm not a coffee drinker, the sprinkling of salty, nutty, crunchy, sugary bits over the whipped cream on top is very good.

The next 2 piccies were taken at a restaurant serving food from Macau at the Expo where we went a bit crazy over the Robinsons sale. The Portuguese egg tart is highly recommended!

I found that picture quite funny 'cos my eyes were half-closed. Here is the better version:

And last of all, this long-overdue pic - thanks Ranjitha, for your lovely Deepavali goodies. Here is the picture I promised you.

Ms Siti Rafeah looking with envy at the goodies!

And in case you people think I'm just slacking away in school, I've been working on the structured tutorials and the pamphlets for the Primary Six students considering our school. Stressful, but I'm having fun :)

Have a good weekend, everybody!

P.S. 3E2, thanks for the present, little cards, chocolate mochi & the lovely food during the class chalet! Very well-organised, all.

From the heart

2009-11-07T18:15:00.000-08:00

I went to Songfest yesterday at my church where aspiring composers presented songs they had written, and it was really good. I was touched by how they were singing & composing from the heart. I hope that I can do everything from my heart too, to carry out deeds and actions born from deep reflection & a good relationship with God and others...

Thoughts

2009-10-28T22:23:00.000-07:00

Can empathy be taught?

If I have taught them to memorise tricky things such as the different roles of water in living organisms(acronym - TOWNPET), the different types of respiration and the reactants and products for each type, the different things that plasma transports (acronym - VICHPUSH), but at the end of the day, have not taught them how to put themselves in the shoes of others, have I succeeded as a teacher?

The age-old (?) dilemma resurfaces: am I supposed to be a role model and influence them in terms of character development, or merely to teach an academic subject well? Am I really teaching only Biology, or as the (so oft-repeated that it becomes a cliche) story goes, teaching students?

And if it is truly my responsibility to teach them how to empathise, how can I do that? Can I do it merely by setting a good example for them? Should I scold? Should I lecture? Should I nag? Or should I just be kind?

How can I measure my success as a teacher?

Deepavali Thanks!

2009-10-24T18:57:00.000-07:00

Dear Ranjitha, thanks for the Deepavali goodies! They were much appreciated! I was so surprised and happy.

Wishing all my Hindu students a blessed Deepavali.

simple words of thanks...

2009-10-02T09:25:00.000-07:00

it's amazing how a few simple words of thanks can perk up my day and make all those hours of exhaustion and exasperation completely worthwhile.

End of year thoughts?

2009-09-28T03:05:00.000-07:00

It's that time of the year again, exams. The dreaded word for both students and teachers.

As the year draws to a close, I'm again filled with the deep soul-draining exhaustion which comes from putting in 101% into my work. I'm starting to grey from the late nights writing comment after comment in CD journals, from the preparation of endless notes and from the staying back in school to give extra tutorials. Along with this exhaustion, however, comes a kind of calm resignation that stems from my knowing that I've already done my very best.

The rest is up to you.

Thank you ...

2009-09-02T05:00:00.000-07:00

to these 2E1 students:

Ranjitha, thanks for your lovely card today. I can tell that you put in a lot of effort...

Hazel, thanks for the thoughtful card...

& Jun Yang, thanks for the flowers & red pen. They were really pretty / useful (respectively)...

and thank you to all others for your cards, well wishes, messages & tags. Much appreciated all :) Even though I can't thank you personally here, I have been reading & re-reading the little cards you gave. So touching :)

Happy Teachers' Day!

2009-08-31T19:24:00.000-07:00

It's a holiday today because of Teachers' Day. Well, I still have some marking to do and need to complete setting the final year exam papers (the deadline has long since passed). But I'd really like to thank my students who made the effort to give me little cards and gifts. The things you said really touched my heart & made me feel that my efforts are not in vain :) Thank you so much! I love the little notes from some members of my form class.

One of the most memorable presents (among others) was a little umbrella from Fiona, Enru & Elizabeth. Thank you for being so thoughtful! And how did you know that I love colourful things? It looks like a Newton's wheel (I'll post some pictures here if I'm ever free to do so). The handle of the umbrella, instead of a normal curved hook, is a cute little wooden head of a red-headed man with spectacles. I wonder if they bought it because they thought it looked like my boyfriend. (?) Anyway, it made me laugh a lot, although it seems too cute to use in the rain.

I'd like to make some simple wishes this Teachers' Day:
1. For me never to lose my idealism and motivation to continue teaching; believing that every child has the capability and potential to do wonderful things;
2. To be able to get closer to my students and really be able to care for them deeply; to prepare lessons excellently; to get to know them outside the classroom;
3. To have a simple heart towards my colleagues; that there may be no hidden agendas, no jealousy, no pride, no bitterness, but a heart of sharing and mutual encouragement for all;
4. To be able to manage my time better;
5. For a spirit of laughter, optimism and wisdom;
6. For all teachers everywhere to retain their strength and to know that this profession is indeed worth their while.

Happy Teachers' Day!

2009-08-20T05:27:00.001-07:00

Thanks my dear students, for the nice chats I have been having with you these days. Although I felt really tired from night study on Tuesday, it really perked me up being able to talk, laugh, gossip (a little!) and joke with you... I do love all of you, so much.

Specific people I want to thank:
4E people for fun times during tutorials & working hard for Bio. Sorry I couldn't make it for night study today as I had a cough & thought it would be better to go home, rest, and sleep early... but I'll definitely come next Tues & Thurs, ok?

Some former 2E4 people:
Although I love 3E2 very much, I miss 2E4 '08 as well. It's sad, that we were not completely united. But for me, each and every person in that class was special. I love the times we can stop by and chat with each other.

3E2:
CD lessons these days are really nice for me. I don't know why, I always walk into class feeling uncertain about how the lesson is going to go. But it seems like it always turns into a good discussion about things. Plus, I really love reading your journals, especially those of you who really put in effort into pouring your hearts out there...

For anyone who put a smile on my face & a laugh into my voice - thank you! :)

Oh yes!! I forgot to share with you this incident that happened during my Sec 1 class.

Me: So, just to demonstrate an application of knowing about acids and alkalis. It is known that bee stings are acidic while wasp stings are alkaline. So with this knowledge, you should be able to know what to do when a bee stings you, versus when a wasp stings you.
Me: So, what would you do when a bee stings you, if you keep in mind its sting is acidic?
Student: I know! I know!
Me: Yes?
Student: Let the wasp sting you instead!

*Class laughs together with Student*

Smart & creative!

Reflections...

2009-07-15T01:19:00.000-07:00

For the first time since school reopened, I lost my temper in front of a class.

Disruptive, talkative students.

But, likeable students.

As I was standing in front of the class teaching, they were talking & laughing at the same volume at the back of the class.

I tried reminding them, politely at first, then more insistently.

But it didn't work.

The noise built up and I lost my temper and scolded the entire class, picking out the disruptive students. I felt sorry for the students who were only there to learn.

I could tell that those who had been scolded didn't feel remorseful. In fact, after the lesson, they were still using vulgarities to insult their teacher, me. They weren't sorry.

And I wondered what I could have done better.

I still wonder.

Wake up call

2009-06-08T01:01:00.000-07:00

I've been meeting parents and students regarding the mid-year results these days.

As I try to give advice to my students as to how to do better in front of their parents, I feel profoundly sorry. On one hand, I can see how during the term, some of them have been extremely playful and that has contributed to their unsatisfactory results. On the other hand, I do sympathise with these students and want them to maintain a healthy self-image.

Do your best in whatever you do. Once you have tried your best and you know that there is nothing else you could have done better, there isn't any regret that you should keep with you.

Take the feedback from those around you in a positive light. Although we've tried our best, there are always things we can improve on in the future. May we learn to stay humble and always inspired to grow.

Don't be afraid

2009-06-04T05:01:00.000-07:00

When you have done your best, don't be afraid. Hope.

Trust.

Because His thoughts are higher than your thoughts, you can trust in Him with all of your heart.

Time management

2009-05-31T21:35:00.000-07:00

All of us are given the same 24 hours a day, so why is it that some people manage to complete that much more work than others? I guess the answer lies in the only thing which differs from individual to individual - time management.

June will be a time for me to take a much needed rest but also to catch up on work. For this, I'll need good time management so that I am not stressed on the last week of the holidays.

I really want to thank some of my Secondary 4 students who have come up to me asking for extra personal tutorials and who are starting to work hard for your O levels. Good time management is essential for not just the teachers, but for students too. You can't start studying only the day before the exams, not without a consistent foundation of hard work put in months before.

Time management is the foundation that makes achievement seem so effortless. Do a little bit of work every day. There's no need to study until midnight. Just 5-6 hours of study a day, over the course of a week, a month, then a few months, adds up to a lot.

For some of you who are putting in the hard work, but still not seeing the results, I'd like to share this flash animation with you. You can see it at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHEciMhc92w. It's about the growth of the bamboo.

Watch it and don't be discouraged as you lay the foundation for your own bamboo to grow.

Good luck!

2009-05-07T02:47:00.000-07:00

For all my students taking exams -

All the best. You are constantly in my thoughts. Study hard & do your best.

Success is a journey, not a destination. Don't be disappointed if the results are not what you wanted, but be happy that you did your best and are progressing on your journey upwards :)

Best wishes :)

Another's moccasins?

2009-04-21T18:54:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I lost my temper with a group of talkative students and stormed out of the class towards the end of the lesson while the rest of the class was still quietly listening and cooperative.

On reflection I realised that that had not been the right thing to do. I thought that I could have handled it better by keeping my patience and continuing to teach those who wanted to learn, while speaking to the rest privately outside of class time. Besides, storming out of the class would not affect those who had created the trouble, while those who wanted to learn would be hurt & upset that they were not given the chance to.

I realised that a lack of understanding existed on both sides.

On one hand, I didn't understand why students could behave like that. On the other hand, the students were probably wondering why the teacher lost her temper over a little thing.

I tried to put myself into the shoes of the students this morning during CD lesson. We tried putting ourselves into each others' shoes (Anyway, this wasn't the particular class that had made me angry). I don't know if it worked, because a few people were still not taking the exercise seriously. However, most of the class was in a reflective mood, I think.

I wonder what else there remains to do.

Reflect on your results!

2009-03-12T02:21:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't been blogging much; this post is just to remind you that I am still alive!

I have plenty of things to do such as coming up with the plan for International Friendship Day... this I haven't finished yet... but I thought I'd drop in a quick blog first.

I want to apologise to 3E2 for promising Captain's Ball once a month during CD lessons - CD lessons are now to be used for CD only. However, if we want to play Captain's Ball, we can always stay back after school. : )

All of you are getting your report books tomorrow. For those of you who have done well, congrats! Do reflect & see how you can maintain good results. For those of you who have not done so well, let's work together to improve your results. Success is a journey, not a destination! Let's progress slowly and steadily.

I just calculated the top 3 scorers in my form class. I am proud of them & happy for them.

See all of you tomorrow.

Short reflections on Learning Journey to Korea

2008-11-06T18:51:00.000-08:00

Here I am back from a week in Korea. It's been an awesome learning journey for myself as well as the students. I just thought that I would list down some of my learning points before I forget.

1. Teakyung College - Poise
We learnt how to do the catwalk, makeup skills etc here. But what I learnt was that poise is not just about your makeup and dressing alone. Poise is also found in the way you walk. It also depends on your posture and the way your speak. Most importantly, poise also consists of being calm, gracious and positive at all times. A poised person should not show stress or complain about others.

2. Jungshan High School - Initiative
Students seem very disciplined here and study from 8a.m. to 4:30 p.m. They have a study room open everyday until 10p.m. CCA is compulsory and so is English, which they learn from the age of 10 onwards. They also study foreign languages and have a choice between Chinese and Japanese. Optional foreign languages include Russian and Spanish.

What struck me most was their presentation of their school history, vision and mission, and notable events marking their school. This is truly an amazing school with many concrete achievements. The presentation was unusual in the sense that a student did it instead of a teacher. The student knew the vision and mission of the school thoroughly and did it with such a sense of pride. Talk about marketing. It is most convincing when done by a student sincerely and from the heart. They say children and fools always tell the truth. The truth was evident that the students really loved and were proud of being from that school. I hope that we'll be able to have the same for Loyang. Even more determined to give them my best in the way I teach and be a good role model.

3. Yongin Everland Theme Park - Boundaries
During reflection time, my group was sharing about taking heart-stopping roller coasters and how they managed to do things they thought they couldn't do e.g. sit through a whole ride they were afraid of. I asked them to reflect on how essential the seatbelt was in allowing them to enjoy themself.

The seatbelt represents boundaries that we set for ourselves or that we know we should stay within in life. Sometimes these boundaries are set by parents and teachers. Paradoxically, we can only fly up high and stretch ourselves to the limits if we are aware of these boundaries as well.

Okay, don't want to overload or overbore you with my reflections. Will post more when I have the time. Check facebook out for pictures!

The words of a (wo)man with a clear conscience?

2008-10-09T01:44:00.000-07:00

Do teachers worry when students take their exams? Yes we do. We sometimes feel as though we are the ones taking the exams ourselves.

Some teachers, though, say, "I've done everything I can, and now it's all up to you." These are the words of a teacher with a clear conscience.

Do I have a clear conscience? I've done my best this year with the little I have been given. I've tried to carry out my responsibilities to my students well. I've tried to work hard and play hard. And I've tried to be a good example to my students. I've not used vulgarities besides "shitake mushroom" or "sugar"; nor insulted them. I've tried to be punctual to lessons and to put in effort. And when people fail their exams, what's more important to me is that you tried or that you improved. Of course, if failure comes from a lack of effort then it's a different story.

But I have tried my best. And I do have a clear conscience.

So why do I still worry?...

Random thoughts

2008-09-28T23:56:00.000-07:00

This is the first breather I've had for some time to post. Have been busy with trying to clear all the things on my table (it now resembles Bukit Timah hill from the former Mount Everest), trying to fulfil administration duties for Korea and maintaining a work-life balance (in short, trying to prioritise things)...

Although I still get the Monday blues, it is still nice to see my students and going into class usually cheers me up when I see the bright and funny faces looking at me. I learn alot from them too.

Resolution of the week / rest of the year - to refrain from gossiping about anybody. If there is nothing good to say, I am not going to say it. Try to do my best in all things, and keep at peace with everyone.

Sorry, a very random entry, but I just poured out the few thoughts that were in my head today.

Take care and all the best for your exams. : )

A good day

2008-09-09T01:45:00.000-07:00

Thanks, Sec 2s and Sec 3s - all 4 of my classes were wonderful today. I enjoyed myself being with you. x

2008-08-25T05:01:00.000-07:00

I haven't been posting for some time, as I've been trying to clear quite a bit of work including setting and marking test papers - setting the SA2 papers and marking the CA2 papers. The end of the term is hectic, but God's strength and a good shower does wonders. :)

Some thoughts I've absorbed from a leader who inspires me.

1. It's never a problem of lack of time. It's a problem of lack of time management.

2. We achieve most when we are out of our comfort zones.

3. A good leader/ person has a thick skin, is not petty, and never bears a grudge. (oh Ruthie, erase your grudges, they are not worth keeping...laugh at them.)

4. The worst thing in life is making no mistakes (i.e. - take risks - you gotta be proactive)

5. Time and tide wait for no man. Think big - plan big - take steps towards your goals.

And now my small little goal is: to finish marking all my Secondary 3 test papers by tonight so that I can discharge my responsibility towards them well. :( The bigger goals I will think about when I have time to think about them.

Oops! It's never a problem of lack of time. It's a problem of lack of time management!

2008-08-15T09:14:00.000-07:00

An Inspiring Moment

My first period today was supposed to be an essay test on the hardest topic of all this year - the pumping motion of the heart. The names of the different parts of the heart are difficult to remember. The names of the valves are difficult to remember. One of my clearest memories of Biology in Secondary school was struggling with the logical, yet impossibly complicated sequence of how the heart functions.

I wanted to postpone the test because I knew the Secondary 3s were overloaded with tests this week. However, very surprisingly, the class was very disappointed when I told them my decision. They had put in quite alot of effort into studying for the test. I decided to reverse the earlier decision and give them some time to study, before handing out the test.

They got to work very earnestly, and looking at their bent faces I remembered students who didn't use to be this motivated or enthusiastic about Biology. I think this is one of the best things about being a teacher - being able to pass down the love for the subject to the students. If my students graduate with fond memories of their classes, and maintain a curious attitude towards living systems & things; that, for me, is success as a Biology teacher :)

I remember when the teacher postponed deadlines for tests or homework, I used to be so relieved and happy. So my students now are better students than the student I was then. I'm jealous, admiring and inspired!

My favourite moments so far

2008-08-14T05:07:00.000-07:00

My Favourite Moments This Year

My student saying when I occasionally stand in front of the class during morning assembly, "Cher, you giving the command ah?"
Seeing students jump up and down with excitement and not being able to sit down because they love the activities in class so much (eh... this is called constructive mobility ah... not like students walking around because they are bored... then that wouldn't be my favourite moment ah...)
Learning from students - their loyalty, friendships, expressiveness, maturity. I feel inspired...
Cutting the sheep's heart in class and looking at the expressions of excitement / disgust on the faces of my students (haha. The smell took away my appetite too)
Seeing various students whom I thought weren't interested in Science, improving and getting As
Having to lose alot of money treating students when they managed to excel in Science as a class :)